Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Robin Hood or Robin Of Loxley (Cary Elwes) is captured during the Crusades and is imprisoned at Khalil Prison in Jerusalem. With the help of fellow inmate Asneeze, he escapes from the prison, and frees all the other inmates. He is asked by Asneeze to find his son, Ahchoo. When he arrives home in England, he finds Ahchoo and discovers that Prince John has assumed control over England while King Richard is away fighting in the Crusades and, unbeknownst to Richard, John is abusing his power. He meets up with his family's blind servant, Blinkin, the large and ignorant Little John and his friend Will Scarlet O'Hara, whom he recruits to help him regain his father's land and oust Prince John from the throne. On his quest, Robin also attracts the attention of the lovely Maid Marian, who wants to find the man who has the key to her heart (and chastity belt). While Robin is training an army, the Sheriff of Rottingham, Mervin, hires Don Giovanni, to assassinate Robin at the Spring Festival Archery Tournament. Maid Marian hears of the evil plot, and sneaks out of her castle to warn Robin, accompanied by her grumbly German maid Broomhilde. Robin goes to the archery tournament, and makes it to the final round where he unmasks himself. After winning the tournament, he is arrested, and Marian agrees to marry the Sheriff in exchange for Robin's life. Before she can say "I Do", the castle is attacked by the Men in Tights, led by Little John, Ahchoo, Blinkin, and Will. While a battle ensues, Marian is carried off to the tower by the Sheriff, who wants to "deflower" her. Robin enters the chamber, and the two have an intense swordfight in which the evil sheriff is defeated because Robin, missing his sheath, ran him through. Then the cook, the sheriff's long admirer (or stalker) saves him by giving him a magical lifesaver in exchange for agreeing to marry her. Robin and Marian prepare to celebrate the victory when Broomhilde arrives, insisting they get married first. Before the ceremony can be completed, they are interrupted by King Richard, who has returned from the Crusades. He orders John to be taken away to the Tower of London and announces that, due to the foul stench he's left over the kingdom, all the toilets are to be called "Johns". All being as it should be, Robin and Marian are married and Ahchoo is made the new sheriff of Rottingham. When the night comes, Maid Marian's chastity belt won't open with his key and Robin calls the locksmith.

When Quagmire discovers Tinder, Peter, Cleveland, and Joe must save him from his soul-sucking hedonism. Meanwhile, Stewie learns about the perks of him being diagnosed with scoliosis.