Friday the 13th

McDonald's. Choose Lovin'. Featuring: Movie Mavens: King Kong and the Plane & Dorothy and the Wicked Witch of the West & Freddy and Jason. Cartoon Favorites: Coyote and Roadrunner & Smurfs and Gargamel & SpongeBob and Plankton. Animal Hounds: Dog and Postman & Shark and a Swimmer & Grumpy Cat and his Owner. Gamer Geeks: Pacman and Ghost & Rock'em Sock'em & (da) Bears vs. Packers. Hero and Villains: SuperMario and Bowser & Batman and The Joker & a Knight and dragon. Everyday adventurers: Lumberjack and the tree & the Donkey and the Elephant. "McDonald's: Archenemies." (Lyrics) Love, love love love Love love love Love love love Love is endless One for starry nights And two for candlelights And three for long walks in the sun Four for all the laughter Five for ever after Six your smile is just the best Love is endless Love, love love love Love love love Love love love Love is endless Thirteen I've got brand new eyes Fourteen everything's a surprise Fifteen not a day that I regret Love is endless Choose Lovin' McDonald's I'm lovin' it

"Why Sport?" This Nike commercial was banned for supposedly promoting violence against women. Today it would be banned for the illicit activities of it's star, Suzy Favor Hamilton. In her prime, she was an Olympic athlete, however she is no longer looked up to as a result of being caught as a prostitute. The commercial begins with the actress/althlete cleaning up for the night. She takes off her top and after putting something away in the medicine cabinet, she closes the mirror and sees a masked face behind her with a chainsaw. She screams and starts running. He starts chasing her, sawing up doors and anything else in his path. She makes it outside into the woods as the killer runs after her. Unfortunately for him, she just keeps running with her Nike shoes on and he can't keep up. Why sport? That's why. Why Sport? You'll live longer. Nike - Just Do It

The 80s called ... they want their store back. 80s celebrities invade a RadioShack to take back their old stuff and make room for the RadioShack of the future. "The Phone Call: #InWithTheNew RadioShack Commercial (official version)" (Phone rings) Radio Shack. Oh, OK. What? The 80s called. They want their store back. Hey. Go, go, go! It's time for a new Radio Shack. Come see what's possible when we do things together. You're too late. (Lyrics) Everyone's watchin' to see what you will do Everyone's looking at you, oh Everybody's working for the weekend Everybody needs a second chance, oh You want a piece of my heart Radio Shack VCRs R radioshack Do. It. Together. radioshack.com/dit

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth is a 2000 American direct-to-video parody film directed by John Blanchard. The film stars Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Tom Arnold, Coolio and Shirley Jones. Several mid and late '90s teen horror films are parodied, as are the slasher films of the '70s and '80s, including the Scream films (1996, 1997, and 2000), Friday the 13th (1980), Halloween (1978), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), and I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997), as well as other non horror films and television series. Although there are many different films parodied, the film follows the plot of Scream (1996) very closely. It is often compared to Scary Movie, a commercially successful spoof from the same year, which had as a working title "Scream If You Know What I Did Last Halloween".

Donna, frustrated by her husband's laziness on the weekends, nags Cleveland to help her around the house and to do something more with his life. Donna brings up her charity work prompting Cleveland to prove to Donna he can be as charitable as her. After coming up with the idea of pledging money to charity for each beer that they drink, Cleveland recruits his buddies from Quahog and Stoolbend to participate in the First Annual Charity Beer Walk. Pleased with himself, Cleveland decides to drunkenly show off, but when Donna gets injured at the event, Cleveland has to take over the housework. Cleveland soon finds himself in over his head taking care of the kids and Donna. After seeing what Donna has turned Cleveland into, the guys decide to pay her a visit where Holt exposes her charade. Donna admits her ploy but threatens the guys if they let the cat out of the bag. After a night of reflection, Tim returns and calls Donna's bluff, reminding her that he is a bear and can maul her. Donna comes clean to Cleveland but the next day finds him still taking care of the house. Depressed because Cleveland seems to not need her, she goes out drinking with the guys until she decides to take her rightful place back. She begs Cleveland to let her take her rightful place back to which he reluctantly agrees. As it turns out, he was aware of her faking and staged the guys exposing her as a fraud. After retuning to her chores Donna too, realizes she has been had. Meanwhile, Rallo decides it is fun to scare his friends after watching scary movies so he decides to take his show on the road, scaring as many of his friends and family as possible by dressing up as slasher movie characters such as Leatherface and Freddy Krueger. He stops after his mother punches him out of pure instinct when he scared her.

Bart schemes to bring down his new 4th grade teacher, Mr. Lassen, who is a terrible bully. Meanwhile, The Simpsons go to Burning Man. Guest star: Willem Dafoe as Mr. Lassen

Brian gets cosmetic surgery, which leads him to become a real estate agent. Unfortunately, this gets him in trouble with Quagmire.

When Peter and Chris go away to fat camp, they cross paths with a serial killer who targets overweight kids. Meanwhile, Stewie is traumatized by the frightening cover of a Queen album.

Homer wins a Harley-Davidson motorcycle at a fifties dancing contest and starts his own biker gang, naming it "Hell's Satans". However, this attracts the real biker gang called "Hell's Satans" to crash at their house. However, after a while, they begin to appreciate Marge, who takes care of them, and kidnaps her. Homer tracks them down and scuffles with Meathook, the leader. At Marge's suggestion, the gang settles down and lives normal lives.

Red, coming down from her drug high, is nursed by Nicky, who thinks her warnings about Piscatella showing up are hallucinations. Piscatella, in full riot gear, attacks Blanca in a utility room, where she had gone to set a boobytrap in case he showed up anyway. Inmates begin disappearing one by one, including Nicky and Boo, but nobody believes Red. Gloria begs Caputo (locked in a Porta-Potty) to let her out on furlough to see her son, but Caputo says he can't help her until she lets the hostages go. After Boo disappears, Linda desperately seeks out Caputo, who was let out to back up the inmates' claim of slave labor to Figueroa. Another inmate, who had turned Linda's high heels into shivs after Piper and Alex first found her, recognizes her as a hostage, but Linda runs away with one of the shoe shivs. Lorna, hurt by Nicky's comments that her pregnancy is all in her head, convinces Suzanne to stop taking her psych medicine. Red finds Frieda's map to the "bunker" in her cooking book and discovers Piscatella prisoners on her way there by accident. While trying to free them Piscatella arrives. Flashback: In the late 1970s, Red is a young woman in the Soviet Union working a menial factory job. Her rebellious friend Nadezhda introduces her to the world of underground discos and black-market Levi's, but Nadezhda soon vanishes. Red's ex-boyfriend, Dmitri (whom she had dumped for being too dull), proposes they lie about being Jewish in order to escape to the United States, as Jews were being allowed to immigrate to countries other than Israel.