"Dear Kitten: The Disappearing Humans – Purina Friskies"
In this 2015 Super Bowl commercial, a seasoned cat answers the important Big Game questions for a young kitten. What happens after the Big Game starts? Why is there a pile of coats in the bedroom and where are the people that were wearing them? Were they evaporated by some sort of ray gun? Was it their punishment for losing the Big Game?
Voiceover, Dialog, Spoken Text, Script, or Lyrics
Dear Kitten, after the Big Game starts, your first instinct will be to find a quiet place to escape the madness. I need to warn you though. Don't go into the bedroom looking for a place to hide. It's horrifying. There's a pile of coats in there, and the people who were wearing them are gone. Evaporated. I dug down all the way to the bottom of those coats once, and there was no sign of life. The only thing that's left is the smell of their armpits... and the coats which I just mentioned. I think it's what happens to the losers of the Big Game. They destroy them with some kind of a raygun which I cannot find.
Good question, Kitten. What were they doing lying in a giant pile on the bed before they were evaporated. I don't know. Listen, some day I'm gonna be gone and you're going to have to figure all this out for yourself. I'm like a Sherpa. A Sherpa to the knowledge. And these coats, obviously, are a sign that there was a giant catastrophe here. No pun intended. Because we had nothing to do with it... I don't think.
Really? I tell you that there's a room full of evaporated people and it's the doorbell that scares you. It's a freakin' bell. What do you imagine is going to happen? Anyway, like I was saying, don't go in there. I don't want to go in and find just a little pile of your fur and nothing else. I have grown fond of you. Oh, that was hard to say. That was... it it weird I feel like hissing at you right now? But find, I'll say it. I like to lick your face. I wanna licka your face. I likea licka your face. Oooh, you just got the cutest little face. I just want to lick it. Mwah.
The Disappearing Humans