"Dear Kitten: Regarding The Big Game"
One day a year things get weird, and Cat teaches Kitten the game-plan.
This 2015 Super Bowl teaser ad features and adult cat teaching a little kitten the ropes when it comes to dealing with their humans on Super Bowl Sunday.
Voiceover, Dialog, Spoken Text, Script, or Lyrics
There's something that I need to warn you about. Today is going to get weird. You know how normally the humans sit in front of that light box. It's quite lovely actually. They just sit there for hours, and they don't disturb the little people that live inside the light box at all. But on one day a year, everything changes.
Oh, come on. It's just the doorbell. How many times do I have to tell you it's like the human way of meowing outside of a closed door - just lazier. Okay, fine, I'll join you under the light box stand.
The first thing that happens is all these new humans arrive. Then they gather up ever single thing that we sleep on, and then they try to take up as much room as they can in the dumbest looking way possible. Hey, Kitten. Kitten, check it out. I'm takin' up all the room. You try one. Like pretend you're a sausage that lost its will to live. That's the spirit. Wait, I got another one. Check me out. Kitty got a big belly. But all joking aside, there is no place for us to nap. We are doomed.
After they have all assembled in the room of comfortable things, they bring out a cornucopia of human moist food. I'm not totally sure if the objective is to get it into or near the mouth hole. Maybe it's like bocce, like you get points for being close. It really goes everywhere. On their face. You know actually you have a little something right there. Let me get that. Alright, calm down Sir Hiss-a-lot. Don't kill the messenger.
You see how some of the humans are wearing traditional robes of some sort? I can't tell what they signify in terms of status, but I am pretty sure that one is the idiot. The humans seem to have some sort of a ritual. When the light box suddenly gets loud, all of the humans try to be the first to jump up and shout louder than anyone else. The person that gets up the fastest is the winner and gets to hit people with his paws. The slowest people to get up are then taunted for their inadequacies, and they become very sad. It's actually quite a cruel game, but it's a cruel world.
You probably noticed these strange metal cylinders. It seems to be a device the humans use that suck out their intelligence. Kind of like the vacuum, but instead of sucking dirt it sucks out judgement and common sense. Look, see. Yes, sure, one time I tried it by accident, and you know what? The next morning I woke up feeling terrible wearing another cat's collar, and I may or may not have been inside of a sock. Don't ask because I don't remember.
I know with this sort of madness, your instinct is to hide, but there's a bigger play here. I need you right up in there. I need you to jump on people's laps, and try to walk across the table of sloppy sauces. If you can find someone who sneezes every time you get near them - get near them. And when it's time, you just walk right in front of the lightbox and sit down like you don't know what's going on. And then, three, two one... that's right. Kitty get an airplane ride. A little private jet right to the only prize worth competing for. A can of moist delicious wet food. And touchdown. Works every time. Kitty get what he wants.
Heisler Gold Ale