Plot / Description
A new comedy from writer/director David E. Talbert (Baggage Claim) and producer Will Packer (Ride Along, Think Like a Man series, This Christmas), Almost Christmas tells the festive story of a beloved patriarch who asks his family for one gift this holiday season: to get along. If they can honor that wish and spend five days under the same roof without killing one another, it will be a Christmas miracle.
The all-star cast of Almost Christmas is led by Kimberly Elise, Danny Glover, John Michael Higgins, Romany Malco, Mo’Nique, JB Smoove, Gabrielle Union, Omar Epps, Nicole Ari Parker, Jessie T. Usher and DC Young Fly.
"Almost Christmas - Official Trailer (HD)"
Voiceover / Dialog / Script / Spoken Word
We're not gonna make it to Christmas, are we?
Not a damn chance.
Nothing says the holidays quite like family.
I wasn't expecting you for another day or two. Your room's upstairs.
But the liquor's in the dining room.
Hey, Walter. Is the family coming for Christmas?
Every single one of them.
Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. Where's your husband?
Hey, Rachel! You know he's single.
So sorry about your loss. The African-American woman is the backbone of the black family.
Who is this white man?
What's with those pink pants, Malibu Barbie?
They gonna kill each other out there.
Uh-oh, somebody got a boyfriend!
I got vibrators older than that child.
You burned the macaroni!
It was gonna be disgusting. I did you a favor.
Do me a damn favor, don't burn down the damn house!
I got it! I got it!
What the hell did y'all do?
You can't afford to buy me no more outfits like this. This my Chaka Khan! Chaka Khan!
All I'm asking is for five days for you all to act like a family.
You all should feel like a bunch of dumbasses. This gonna blow my buzz.
If I close my eyes, I can see mom in here like it was yesterday.
She is here. She's in every pot, in every pan. We all standing on holy ground.
My husband's gonna kill himself.
Nothing like positive reinforcement for the holidays.
Come on Santa Claus, time to go get them Ho Ho Hos.
Did you find everything you need?
Sometimes you find things that you're not even looking for.
Do you want some stuffing, baby?
Boy, I'm a grown ass woman. I'mma stab your ass with this fork, you hear me?
I would love that.
Well, at least we know it can't get any worse.
Lonnie? Oh my God!
Oh my God!
You two know each other?
Oh my gosh!
What the hell is going on?
I'm his wife you dumb bitch.
Who are you calling a dumb bitch?
You, you dumb bitch, young bitch, silly bitch, dead bitch. She got the gun, bitch, Lonnie, if you gonna bring bitches in here, bring a smart bitch.
I'm too old for this.
You sound beautiful Aunt May.
(Lyrics) Baby baby I've been waitin' for the one to blow my mind
Baby maybe you can get it if you got that thang I like
I need a stay up brother with a James brown soul
The type of red hot
But if you wanna hear me sing you better play that sax
Give it to me!
(Lyrics)Where I come from
I've seen things
Even in darkness
Said whoa, when it gets real cold
We got fire and that's music to my soul
That's music to my soul
There's Nothing Like The Holidays
To Bring Family Together
And Share The Love
This Holiday Season
From The Producers Of
Think Like A Man
John Michael Higgins
Nicole Ari Parker
Jessie T. Usher
DC Young Fly