"How to Poop at Work -"

Voiceover, Dialog, Spoken Text, Script, or Lyrics

You're in a big fancy pants meeting when out of nowhere you need to download a brownload.  
Excellent job. Oh, God!  
Is she OK? 
Now what do you do? 
Come on, just pick one! Just pick one. 
This is it. This is the moment you and your sphincter have been training for. Hold it in.  
Here, in April...Oh!  
Uh-oh! Seems your balloon knot has let out some air.  
Ooh, hey! OK. 
Oh, there is something wrong with this floor, right? Oh, ha ha! Yeah, that's how it sounds when our numbers go up. Just like that, boom!  
It smells like a cat orgy. Not that I would know what that would smell like, but I assume.  
Is that a high C? What is that? 
So, in conclusion... 
Stop it. Stop it! 
I quit. 
Give me five minutes. 
You tuck your brown tail between your legs and glide out of the room. 
She looks like she sat on a thumb tack.  
You sprint down the stairs like it's the 40-turd dash. Your intestinal clock is ticking. 
Sorry, Phyllis! 
It's time to let Mr. Brown go without a severance package.  
Ah, here I am. That's a long hall! OK. 
What is that? 
There's toilet paper! 
All right. Oh, oh, oh!  
She's kind of weird, right? 
Just give me a minute.  
Before you start the porcelain paperwork, you spritz the bowl with Poo-Pourri. All they'll be able to smell is a refreshing aroma of natural essential oils, and confidence. Control the shituation with Poo-Pourri - the before you go toilet spray that creates a film on the water's surface that actually traps the odor before it ever begins. If your poo stinks, click here to get your Poo-Pourri today at Poo-Pourri. Our business is to make it smell like your business never even happened.

Written Text

Just hold it in 
Run to far bathroom 
Use Poo=-Pourri 
Unconditional Stink Free Guarantee

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