Meet the King | Jimmy John’s

You want a sandwich war? You got a sandwich war. Order pickup or delivery now:

Brad Garrett plays the King of Cold Cuts, a sandwich competitor to Jimmy John's.

Voiceover, Dialog, Spoken Text, Script, or Lyrics

Aloha. Tony Bolognavich here. People call me the King of Cold Cuts. As you can see, the sandwich business has been real good to me. Of course it's not that tough. Just take some bargain brands, slap on a little not-quite-meat, get yourself a catchy jingle.

I got ham, salami, pepperoni, capicola

And what do you got? Boom! Sandwich pool. But now I've got this Jimmys John showing up on my turf telling me that they've got the sandwich of all sandwiches. I think not.

These try-hards fresh bake their bread all day.
What do you need fresh bread for? Huh? You got the delicate taste palette of Her Royal Majesty, the Queen?
Big deal, you got all-natural meats sliced by hand.
I got "turkey" and ham made by science. I'm good.
You wanna come after me, Jimmys Johns? My books are clean. But to come into my home...
And go after my family... now it's personal.
Oh, look. I'm Jimmys Johns and I have high quality, reasonably priced sandwiches. They're all customizable and convenient for your busy modern life.

I'm the King. You think I'm gonna let some two-first-name sandwich steal my throne? No way, Jose. You may got fresh tomatoes Jimmys Johns, but I got loyalties.
Stevie, you're dead to me!
I'm comin' for you Jimmys Johns. This is war. Sandwich war.


...go boom...
Ooo la la


Saturday night I was downtown
Working for the FBI
Sitting in a nest of bad men
Whiskey bottles piling high
Had it all
Had it all!

Written Text

"The King of Cold Cuts"
Edible Meat - Individual Meat Slices
Almost Bread Co.
Jimmy John's Sandwiches - The sandwich of sandwiches.

Pop Culture Connections - Outgoing

More from Popisms


Name: Email: URL: Comment: