This commercial shows two men talking about their teams, or rather, talking about how bad their rival team is. This is a rivalry between the "red" and "blue" teams, and this split screen commercial shows one fan from each side, and how they are each saying the same bad things about the other. The funny thing is, each person is insulting the other side, and the only difference between their lives is that they root for different teams. Their families, friends, bars, homes, TVs, jobs, girlfriends, and neighborhoods are all basically the same.

Voiceover, Dialog, Spoken Text, Script, or Lyrics

Red: If I'd a been born a blue, I'd be a proper fake. 
Blue: If I'd a been born a red, I'd be a right moppet. 
Both: A miserable git. 
Red: I'd be born a right divvy. 
Blue: A real divvy. 
Both: And a real scummy mum and dad. Real mingers they would be. I'd be born a billy-no-mates. My life would be a tragedy. I'd probably have some crap job. 
Blue: Chips are up. 
Both: I wouldn't have such a fit bird now, would I? 
Girlfriends: My name's Becky. 
Red: I'd have no life, no friends, no future. 
Blue's Girlfriend: He's be at home, sittin' on his tod. 
Both: If I'd a been born over there, I'd a been born a right plonker. 
Red: Can't even imagine it. 
Blue: Can't even imagine it. 
Both: Good job I was born here.

Written Text

Fake - A person who appears otherwise they he/she actually is. 
Moppet - A foolish person. A child. 
Git - An absent-minded, or naive person. 
Divvy - A stupid person. A simpleton. 
Minger - An unattractive or malodorous person. 
Billy-No-Mates - Someone without friends. 
Fit Bird - A hot/attractive woman. 
Sitting on His Tod - On his own; alone. 
Plonker - An absent-minded, or naive person. A person prone to making mistakes. 
It's not crazy. It's sports. 
Salford Lads Club

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