"Delivery Man (2013) - Official Trailer" 
An affable underachiever finds out he's fathered 533 children through anonymous donations to a fertility clinic 20 years ago. Now he must decide whether or not to come forward when 142 of them file a lawsuit to reveal his identity. 
Starring: Vince Vaughn, Chris Pratt, Cobie Smulders, Britt Robertson

Voiceover, Dialog, Spoken Text, Script, or Lyrics

In my life, I have a tendency to make very bad decisions. 
David, I don't want a boyfriend who just disappears because he's too busy. You're unreliable, you have brought me such beautiful flowers. 
Yes I did. 
Maybe that's why I've been stuck in the same job so long. 
You're three hours late, man. 
You know, David, I love you like a son. 
I am your son. 
Everyone has a purpose in life. I guess I just haven't found mine yet. 
David Wozniak, in 1994 you donated to a fertility clinic anonymously. Apparently there was a mix up at the clinic. 
You are the biological father of 533 children. 
It is impossible to be the father of 533 children. 
It is impossible to be the father of 4 children. 
How would a normal person handle a situation like this? 
A normal person would not be in this situation. 
You're in trouble, David. Your kids are suing to find out who their biological father is. 
What do we do now? 
This envelope contains the profiles of your children. Do not open it! 
I know I shouldn't have, but I took out one of the profiles. I just picked one. 
Worst idea ever. 
I'm an actor missing the audition of a lifetime right now. 
I'll take care of the coffee shop. 
Who are you, man? 
I can make a cup of coffee. 
I lost my job. 
You lost your job. 
I got the part. 
You got the part. 
This could be the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. These kids need someone to look out for them. They need a guardian angel. 
Hey sexy! 
Hey what are you doing? You never seen a girl before. 
When you're looking out for these kids, will you be wearing some kind of cape? 
I didn't say super hero. I said guardian angel. 
You do not want to reveal yourself. You don't want to be known as the guy with 500 kids. 
For the first time in my life, I'm doing the right thing. 
I officially set out to try and have a life. It may be strange, and a bit oversized, but it's my life. 
You don't have the skills to be a father. 
Dad. Daddy. 
Okay, stop it. 
I need order. 
And this is order? 
I had a dream so big and loud 
I jumped so high I touched the clouds 
This is gonna be the best day of my life 
My li-i-i-i-i-ife 
This is gonna be the best day of my li-ife 
My li-i-i-i-i-ife

Written Text

Dreamworks SKG 
Wozniak and Sons 
From Dreamworks 
My profile 
This Thanksgiving 
You're never quite ready for what life delivers 
Morris Jumel Historic Mansion 
Vince Vaughn 
Delivery Man 
Touchstone Pictures

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