Michael has but one thing to do: sign a few dozen routine documents. To procrastinate, Michael makes Ryan update emergency contact information of the staff. When Michael gets Ryan's mobile phone number, he constantly prank calls Ryan with crude impersonations of Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, and Saddam Hussein.
Talk of Dwight's karate experience gets Michael's competitive juices flowing, leading to a lunchtime match between the two at Dwight's dojo. Jim goes too far flirting with Pam, and she abruptly shuts him down when their co-workers take notice.
After a pathetic showing by both combatants, Michael emerges victorious over Dwight, which leads to Dwight changing his emergency contact from "Michael Scott" to "The Hospital". At the end of the day, Michael promotes Dwight from Assistant to the Regional Manager to Assistant Regional Manager, most likely to ensure that Dwight will still idolize him despite the hard feelings over their lunchtime battle. The rest of the staff, fed up with Michael's inability to accomplish even the simplest task, are forced to forge his signatures on the documents so they can go home.
On the way out, Jim gives Pam a bag of chips. Pam quietly takes them and stares in a forgiving manner after Jim.