Spanish Flea
performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

Homer and Marge go out on their anniversary dinner, but are forced to take the kids. They end up having an unromantic dinner, and lose interest in being intimate later that night. Later, the two must go purchase a new refrigerator motor, but during a rainstorm, their car gets stuck in the mud, so the two rush into a barn. When the farm owner nearly discovers them, the two become excited and have sex. When they return home, they decide to spend a weekend at a bed and breakfast, but when they are there, they find themselves romantically uninspired once again, until a maid discovers them on a bed. They then realize that the fear of getting caught makes them excited. Later, they decide to go to a miniature golf course to have sex in the windmill there, just like they did when they were younger. The people there soon realize there is something inside the windmill, and the two barely manage to escape unseen. However, the people see their underwear, and realize someone was there. To get home, the nude couple steals a hot air balloon, but they accidentally wind up landing on a football field full of people. Homer and Marge travel back home, and are in the newspaper the next day.

Homer assembles a bowling team consisting of Apu, Moe and Otto so he can play on league nights. He gets the team funding from Mr. Burns during one of his ether-induced hallucinations. The team does well until Mr. Burns discovers that he paid for them and decides to join the team. The team starts losing games but still manage to make it to the league championship where they manage to win. The team is overjoyed but Mr. Burns has a change of heart and takes the trophy for himself. Meanwhile, the students of Springfield Elementary School are forced to wear uniforms after Bart comes to school wearing a T-shirt with a shocking message on it.

Otto crashes the school bus, and is later discovered that he never actually owned a real driver's license, prompting authorities to fire him. Otto then moves in with the Simpsons after he has been evicted, and attempts to teach Bart to learn to play the guitar, though with difficulty. But it's the way he enrages Homer that might provide an inadvertent return ticket to his beloved bus-driving job.

Carrie accidentally leaves the garage door open one night and Doug's most prized posession - his big screen TV - is stolen. Doug makes a big deal about her lack of responsibility, so Carrie, feeling terrible, goes out and buys him a replacement. The next day Doug is in the office upstairs, and accidentally breaks Carrie's new computer. Nervous about how Carrie will react, after he gave her such grief about the TV, Doug persuades Arthur to take the blame.

Typically, a bachelorette would question three bachelors, who were hidden from her view; at the end of the questioning period, she would choose one to go out with on a date paid for by the show. Occasionally, the roles would be reversed with a man questioning three ladies; other times, a celebrity would question three players for a date for themselves, a co-worker or a relative of theirs. Many celebrities played the game looking for love themselves.